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Areas › Your marriage › Rituals of connection
A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.
When you are offered a greeting, respond with a better one (Quran 4:86). A warm parting and greeting is a small good returned with more.
النساء
وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُم بِتَحِيَّةࣲ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحۡسَنَ مِنۡهَآ أَوۡ رُدُّوهَآۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيۡءٍ حَسِيبًا
But [even in battle] when you [believers] are offered a greeting, respond with a better one, or at least return it: God keeps account of everything
Qur’an 4:86read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Gottman's small things often principle puts weight on partings and reunions, which happen daily whether or not you use them. Two minutes learning one thing about your partner's day keeps you in touch across the hours apart.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 3, Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away. Romance is built in the ordinary moment when one partner makes a small bid and the other turns toward it. The running total of those turnings, not the grand gesture, is what fills the emotional bank account.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Small parting rituals of connection keep a couple emotionally in touch across the day.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Turn Toward; Small Things Often (partings and reunions).