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Areas › Your marriage › Shared spiritual life
Not a chore chart. What providing, nurturing, or protecting means to you underneath.
Guard yourselves and your families (Qur'an 66:6). The roles at home carry a trust; naming their meaning honours it.
التحريم
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارࣰ ا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلۡحِجَارَةُ عَلَيۡهَا مَلَٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظࣱ شِدَادࣱ لَّا يَعۡصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمۡ وَيَفۡعَلُونَ مَا يُؤۡمَرُونَ
Believers, guard yourselves and your families against a Fire fuelled by people and stones, over which stand angels, stern and strong; angels who never disobey God’s commands to them, but do as they are ordered
Qur’an 66:6read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Roles are one of the pillars of Gottman's shared meaning, and what matters is the meaning each of you attaches to yours, not the division of chores. Talking about that meaning turns household labour into a joint project.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 7, Create Shared Meaning. Marriage has a spiritual dimension built from rituals of connection, shared roles, goals and symbols, and a couple with a common sense of purpose weathers conflict that would otherwise divide them.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Shared meaning around roles turns duties into a jointly held purpose.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Create Shared Meaning; the roles pillar (what each role means to each of you).