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Areas › Your marriage › Shared spiritual life
The home, the children's upbringing, a habit of worship. Something you are making together.
They pray, our Lord, make us a model for the mindful (Qur'an 25:74). A shared goal is a family aiming at something higher than itself.
الفرقان
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنࣲ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
those who pray, ‘Our Lord, give us joy in our spouses and offspring. Make us good examples to those who are aware of You’
Qur’an 25:74read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Shared goals are a pillar of Gottman's shared meaning, giving a couple something they are building rather than only maintaining. Saying the goal out loud as ours is what makes it jointly owned.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 7, Create Shared Meaning. Marriage has a spiritual dimension built from rituals of connection, shared roles, goals and symbols, and a couple with a common sense of purpose weathers conflict that would otherwise divide them.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
A shared goal gives a couple a we and a direction beyond the daily.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Create Shared Meaning; the shared goals pillar.