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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
In a hostile exchange, try a slow hmm instead of a reply. It sounds like someone thinking, and it puts a long out breath in the way of whatever you were about to say.
The sound we make when we are unsure is already in everyone's repertoire, and it reads as puzzlement rather than as a threat, so the other person has…
If you notice a hard locked stare, in yourself or in the room, look away. Empty space is the safest thing to look at, because it says nothing back.
Two people staring each other down are feeding one another, and each second of it raises both of them. Breaking that needs no words, which matters,…
Say the frightened thing rather than the sharp thing. It is far more exposing and it is the only version that tends to get a kind reply.
Under most rows sits something like I think there is something wrong with me, or I have already lost you and I am pretending I have not. Sharp words…
The thing worth admitting is not that you were angry. It is what you were frightened of underneath it: being made a fool of, being left, being counted as useless.
Anger is the easy half to say and it rarely lands well. The fear underneath is harder to say and it is the part that gets you heard. One sentence…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
Being pushed into something before you are ready does more than frighten you. It teaches you that the pacing you were promised cannot be trusted, and that is the harder thing to repair.
After a step that overwhelmed them, most people go straight back to avoiding, and they also start negotiating every later step defensively, which is…