Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

What matches

474 practices

Narrow these down

Feeling the pull to square up is not something you chose. What your face, your voice and the next thirty seconds do with it is.

Notice too that the pull is not equally sensible everywhere. There are places where standing your ground genuinely matters, and there are places,…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 16:126One line of research

Ask how settled you are and you will usually say fine. Look at your breathing instead, since it is generally more honest than the answer you give.

Quick, shallow breathing high in the chest usually means the moment is not over yet, whatever you have just told someone. In a session a therapist…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 2:153One line of research

Whatever line you plan to use on yourself in a hard moment, say it in your own words rather than tidy ones. Polished phrasing tends to evaporate exactly when you need it.

If your inner voice is blunt, let the line be blunt. A therapist working this way will sometimes ask for the crude version of a coping phrase instead…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:36One line of research

Keeping your eyes open is part of the exercise, because looking away is a quiet way of leaving. The small escapes are what keep a hard moment hard.

Every practice has its exits. Breaking eye contact, laughing it off, checking your phone, planning your reply instead of hearing the sentence. None…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 38:17One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Bringing the future closer

Shame

Breaking the worry loop

Knowing your partner

Food, caffeine and fuel

Question the thought

Treatment and medication

What you are actually defending

When everything feels flat

Shame and stigma

Get started

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Posture and how you carry yourself

Emotions as signals

Growing empathy

Letting it out safely

Obsessions and compulsions

Listening and understanding

Let the wave come

Working with anger

The cost of avoiding

Screens and attention

Safety and grounding

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Being seen and judged

Calm the body

Facing it a step at a time

Exercise, food and other supports

Name what you feel

When you use something to cope

When anger turns to harm

Shared spiritual life

Structure and routine

Care for yourself in loss

Treatment and medication

Validate yourself and others

Your window of tolerance

Anger, alcohol and the body

What ADHD actually is

Run the same moment twice. The second time, change nothing except what you do with it, and let yourself not mind what the other person might be thinking.

Keeping the situation identical is the point, because then the only thing that moved was you. In a session that means the same silence and the same…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 12:83One line of research

Notice when you have jumped to the worst story, and hold it as a guess, not a fact.

They meant to hurt me, this always happens. Label these as theories, then look for evidence.

A minuteQuestion the thoughtCoreQur’an 49:12One line of research

Some thoughts you could defend all day, and debating whether they are true only gives them more of your time. Try a different question: is this thought kind to me, and does it take me anywhere I want to go?

This one earns its place when you have already proved the case to yourself and feel worse for having done it. You are not conceding the thought is…

A minuteQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 39:18One line of research

Name one hard thing today and ask what it might be growing in you: patience, humility, nearness to God.

Not denying the difficulty. Finding the meaning inside it that makes it bearable.

Five minutesQuestion the thoughtCoreQur’an 94:5One line of research

When a thought lands hard, ask whether you know it for certain, and what you would actually put forward if you had to make the case. Then go looking for the bits that point the other way.

Do this once you have settled a little, not in the worst of it, or the questions become another way of arguing with yourself. Write the answers down…

Five minutesQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 17:36One line of research

Imagine yourself some years from now, well past this, and let that version of you say something to you about today. Write down whatever arrives.

It sounds like a party trick and it usually is not. The future you tends to speak in a tone you cannot yet manage towards yourself, less panicked and…

Five minutesQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 2:269One line of research

Wanting comfort when you are hurting is a built-in human need, not a weakness to be ashamed of. Let yourself ask.

The urge to seek closeness and reassurance in distress is wired into us from childhood. Honouring that need, rather than judging it, is part of how…

A minuteRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 27:62One line of research

When a past hurt overwhelms you, reach toward a safe person instead of cutting yourself off. Connection is part of healing, not a distraction from it.

Trauma pulls you to withdraw, but isolation is exactly what deepens it. Letting even one trusted person stay close, when everything in you wants to…

Five minutesRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 3:103One line of research

There is a point where a to do list stops being a tool and becomes something you flinch away from. If you have not opened yours in a fortnight, it has passed that point.

The usual advice is to work through it, which is precisely what nobody does with a list that long. It is kinder and quicker to start a fresh page…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:24One line of research

Offer your spouse one clear reassurance today: I am here, we are okay.

When they wobble, say the steadying thing plainly rather than assuming they know.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40Seen more than once

When you are already behind, rest feels like the one thing you cannot afford. That feeling is usually what keeps you behind.

Running from one near disaster to the next burns exactly the abilities you need in order to dig out: planning, holding a thought long enough to use…

Five minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 4:28One line of research

When an urge rises, neither fight it nor obey it. Watch it like a wave: it peaks and it falls.

The urge to snap, to check, to give in. Name it, breathe, and let it crest and pass.

A minuteRide the urgeMindfulnessQur’an 2:153One line of research

Before acting on a strong impulse, wait ten slow breaths. Decide after, not during.

The peak of an urge is brief. A short, deliberate delay lets the thinking mind back in.

A minuteRide the urgeMindfulnessQur’an 3:134One line of research

Certainty feels good. That sudden clean sense of knowing exactly who is in the wrong is part of what keeps anger coming back, so it is worth noticing as a pleasure rather than as proof.

Anger tidies things up. The doubt goes, the mixed feelings go, and for a moment you know where you stand. Take that away without putting anything in…

A minuteRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 53:32One line of research

When someone is in full flood, leaving is allowed. Getting out of the way of a person who is past listening is a skill, not a defeat.

You can say where you are going and that you will come back to it, which keeps it from reading as punishment. This matters most for anyone who was…

A minuteRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 42:41One line of research

When something is genuinely wrong, try saying the whole sentence: this is wrong, it should not be like this, and it is. Then ask how it came to be, before asking what to do.

The word should keeps you in the courtroom, where the only available outcome is a verdict. Asking why moves you into how the thing actually happened,…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 49:9One line of research