Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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474 practices

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Anger is a genuine body event, not a thought you can talk yourself out of mid-flow. Expect it to keep running for a while after you have decided it should stop.

Which is a reason to have something prepared rather than something clever. A short sentence you have used before, a move you have made before, an…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 25:63One line of research

Put a word to it while it is happening. Saying quietly that this is anger and it is climbing gives you something to hold that the bare feeling does not.

Naming is not explaining and it is not excusing. It is a plain description: heat, chest, wanting to say something cutting. Often the intensity drops…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 91:8One line of research

When anger comes it takes the whole body with it: heart, hands, voice, attention. The system would rather do too much than too little.

That preference made sense where missing a real threat was fatal and an unnecessary fight was survivable. It is why the response feels so total and…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:150One line of research

The nervous system grows in the womb out of the same layer as your skin. Sensing and being touched come from one origin, which is part of why threat is felt on the surface of you.

The biology does not have to be exact for the picture to be useful. Attention paid to the surface, the temperature of your hands, the tightness…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 70:20One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Bringing the future closer

Shame

Breaking the worry loop

Knowing your partner

Food, caffeine and fuel

Question the thought

Treatment and medication

What you are actually defending

When everything feels flat

Shame and stigma

Get started

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Posture and how you carry yourself

Emotions as signals

Growing empathy

Letting it out safely

Obsessions and compulsions

Listening and understanding

Let the wave come

Working with anger

The cost of avoiding

Screens and attention

Safety and grounding

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Being seen and judged

Calm the body

Facing it a step at a time

Exercise, food and other supports

Name what you feel

When you use something to cope

When anger turns to harm

Shared spiritual life

Structure and routine

Care for yourself in loss

Treatment and medication

Validate yourself and others

Your window of tolerance

Anger, alcohol and the body

What ADHD actually is

There is a dense network of nerves lining the gut, which is part of why a bad feeling turns up in your stomach before you can say what is wrong.

Take it as information without treating it as a verdict. A tightening gut might mean real danger, or an old pattern recognised, or that you have not…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 91:8One line of research

Under threat your thinking narrows to two boxes: with me or against me, safe or dangerous. It is fast and crude, and you can catch it happening.

The giveaway words are always, never, everyone, typical, exactly like last time. Hearing yourself use them is a sign of the narrowing rather than a…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 5:8One line of research

Most anger episodes are over within minutes, which is no comfort at all. Nearly everything irreversible happens in the first few seconds.

The punch, the sentence you cannot take back, the resignation, the message sent. The threat reading is finished in about half a second while the part…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 68:48One line of research

Listen for the shoulds. When anger is writing the sentence the words go absolute: always, never, obviously, and a great deal of no.

Alongside that, the greys vanish and everything feels unusually clear. That clarity is convincing and it is the least trustworthy part of the whole…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 5:8One line of research

Anger shown early sometimes stops things going further. A clear no at the start can prevent the whole conversation that would have ended much worse.

Plenty of people learned this the hard way and they are not wrong: visible anger draws a line, and lines get respected. What is worth adding is the…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:41One line of research

Part of what makes anger attractive is how simple it makes everything. Working out who was right and what to do next is slow and uncertain, and anger hands you an answer straight away.

Escalating is genuinely easier than resolving, which is why it wins so often when you are tired. Seen that way it is not a flaw in your character but…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 17:11One line of research

Nobody should tell you your anger is always useless. In a prison, a war, or a house where someone is dangerous, it is doing a job.

Advice that ignores where you actually live is easy to dismiss, and rightly so. The aim is not to strip the response out but to get it calibrated:…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:41One line of research

Anger that shows up when you are running late, when plans change, or when somebody will not do it your way is usually anxiety in a louder coat.

The pattern is easy to see once you look for it. Things are fine while everything goes to plan, and the temper arrives the moment the plan does not…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 70:19One line of research

Anger built on suspicion sits along a long line. At one end is sensible wariness that has kept people safe, and at the far end is a threat that is not there at all.

The useful question is where on that line a particular worry sits, asked honestly rather than settled in advance. Ordinary caution can simply be…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 5:8One line of research

Your alarm learned from something real, then started answering to things that merely resemble it. A rustle in the grass gets the same jolt as the animal that first taught you to run.

It helps to say to yourself, that was the sound, not the thing. The response is not stupid. It was built from a real event and it spread to whatever…

A minuteWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 17:11One line of research

When the alarm takes over, the reasoning part of you goes quiet for a while. That is not you losing your mind. It comes back on its own.

People often frighten themselves twice: once with whatever set them off, and again with the sense that they have lost control of their own head.…

A minuteWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 4:28One line of research

A car coming at you and a spider across the room set off the same alarm. Naming which one you are facing, before you act on it, is a skill worth practising.

Say it plainly to yourself: this is dangerous, or this is uncomfortable. Both are true of different things and the second does not require you to…

A minuteWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 9:129One line of research

You do not have to win the argument in your head before your body is allowed to settle. The two run on separate tracks and you can work on either.

Plenty of people stay locked in the thinking, sure that once the question is finally answered the shaking will stop. It rarely happens in that order.…

Five minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 2:156One line of research

There is a difference between being disappointed with how things are and having given up on how things will be. The second needs a different level of care.

Disappointment still has a future attached to it: this is bad, and later might not be. Hopelessness has closed that off. If you hear someone move…

Five minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 39:53One line of research

For some people the racing heart arrives before any thought at all, and the frightening explanation follows the sensation. If that is you, there is no thought to catch, so start with the body.

Build the physical steadying first, at a quiet time when nothing is happening, so that something is ready to reach for when it does. Slow breathing…

Five minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 12:86One line of research

Once the surge is up it takes something like a quarter of an hour to drop, and nothing sensible said inside that window will land. Give it the time first.

This is the point where a parent, a partner or a friend reaches for reasons, and the reasons make it worse. Keep your words few, stay nearby, offer…

Twenty minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 13:28One line of research