Practices

For the item that never gets done, make an actual decision: cross it off, or find a way to genuinely want it. Leaving it sitting there is the only option that costs you every single day.

Taking it on often works through a person rather than through the task. You may not care about the paperwork, but you care about whoever is waiting…

Saying no accurately depends on a calendar you actually keep. You cannot check whether Thursday is free if Thursday looks blank when it is not.

This is what makes the fiddly work of maintaining a diary worth doing. Nobody keeps a calendar for the pleasure of keeping one. You keep it so that…

When you agree to something, agree who follows up. Do you tell them if it slips, or do they check in with you?

Most of the hurt around late work comes from nobody having said. You assume they will ask, they assume you will speak up, and the silence in between…

But what if I need it one day? The honest answer is that keeping it has a daily price. A list you cannot find anything in has stopped being a list.

The thing you might want once in two years is sitting on top of the thing you need on Thursday. That holds for a to-do list, a desk and a spare room…

ADHD clutter and hoarding look alike from the doorway and are not the same thing. Many people living among piles would be delighted if the lot vanished overnight.

Hoarding is about not being able to part with things. This is more often about sorting being unbearable, or about keeping something in case it turns…

Distraction and disorder feed each other. Every hunt for the missing keys is a perfect opening for your attention to wander off somewhere more interesting.

Which is why sorting the house out is not a side project to the attention problem. Ten minutes of searching is precisely the dull, shapeless stretch…

Every small snag in a task is an exit. The forgotten password, the missing form, the bit where you are not sure what happens next: each one is a chance to say forget it, I will do this later.

So do the snag hunting before you sit down rather than during. Have the login to hand, the papers in one place, the next step written in words a…

Early on, reward the work being finished even when it is rough. Accuracy tends to follow once things are getting done at all.

If the reward only arrives for good work, a child who never finishes anything earns nothing, and a plan that pays out nothing stops being a plan. Set…

When a decision is looming, write the options out rather than talking them through. A test is coming: do nothing, make a revision timetable, ask for extra help. Three lines on paper.

Options do not tend to appear by themselves when planning is hard, and holding three of them in mind while weighing them up is harder still. On paper…

Make one list in the morning, glance at it a few times during the day, and move whatever is left onto tomorrow's list rather than letting it disappear.

The glancing matters as much as the writing, since a list written at eight and never looked at again is just a piece of paper. Carrying items forward…

Make handed-in homework one of the tracked targets. It is the thing that goes wrong most and the thing worth most when it goes right.

Homework has four separate places to fail: writing down what it is, bringing the right things home, actually doing it, and getting it back the next…

Look in often, say the good bits out loud, and stop for a few minutes about every hour. Three small things that carry more than any talk about concentrating harder.

Checking in supplies the noticing a child cannot yet do for themselves, and it lands better as a passing question than as an inspection. The praise…

Set the room up so that movement is already there for the taking: somewhere to stand, something to hold, a chair that lets you shift. Then nobody has to decide in the moment whether it is allowed.

This is a change to furniture and habit, not to willpower. A standing spot for part of the day, a wobble cushion, knitting or whittling while you…

Difficult things come out more easily when your hands are occupied and you are not looking straight at the other person. Walk side by side, drive somewhere, wash up together, keep the sewing going.

If you are the one listening, offer it first. Most people assume that picking something up would look rude or half interested, so they sit still and…

If attention is the diagnosis and reading, writing or maths is still unusually hard, ask whether there is a second thing sitting underneath. The two travel together often enough that one label is rarely the whole story.

A specific difficulty with reading, written expression or number sits alongside attention problems in a large share of cases, and it needs its own…

Support does not have to stop at eighteen. Plan for it to thin out gradually through the twenties, at a level everyone has agreed rather than one that gets argued over every month.

A workable version names three things: what is still being helped with, how much, and when you will look at it again. Every six months is usually…