Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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294 practices

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For a child who is boiling over: eyes closed, fingers gently over the ears, and a long humming breath out. They can feel the buzzing inside their own head.

Blocking their ears is something an upset child often does already, so you are borrowing a movement their hands know rather than teaching a new one.…

Five minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 78:10One line of research

Find something with nothing in it to look at: sky, a blank wall, a ceiling, a stretch of grass. Do not concentrate on it. Let your attention spread out over it.

Hostile thinking needs something to grip, and it will use whatever the eyes hand it. An expanse with no features gives it nothing, so the replay…

Five minutesCool the body firstMindfulnessQur’an 40:61One line of research

If techniques and explanations are not for you, carry a bottle of water and drink it down whenever you feel yourself going up. That is the whole method.

Some people want something to do, not something to understand, and that is a perfectly reasonable way to be. A bottle in your bag or your van is a…

Five minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 8:11One line of research

With vaping the pull is often not the hit at all. It is knowing the thing is there in your pocket if you need it.

One fifteen year old described it exactly that way: the comfort was that she could, not that she did. If that is your pattern the work sits in two…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:268One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Shame and stigma

Tolerate distress

Letting it out safely

The fear underneath anger

When everything feels flat

Food, caffeine and fuel

Posture and how you carry yourself

Get started

When anger turns to harm

Growing empathy

Emotions as signals

Being seen and judged

Question the thought

Exercise, food and other supports

Obsessions and compulsions

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Structure and routine

Your sense of time

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Practising under provocation

Self-compassion

Making it stick

Anger, alcohol and the body

What ADHD actually is

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Rest and pacing

Remembering to do it

Panic and the body

Facing it a step at a time

When you use something to cope

What you are actually defending

Every time your eye lands on the job you have never started, it takes a small toll. Ten of those on one list is a tax you pay all day without noticing.

This is the argument for cutting a list back hard, and it has nothing to do with tidiness. An item you are not going to do still costs you something…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 4:28One line of research

A young person hears the fear in a house even when nobody says anything. If the adults are frightened about their future, they usually take that fear as a verdict on themselves.

If you are the worried parent, you do not have to perform calm. It works better to say the true version out loud: I am anxious about this, the…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 4:28One line of research

Before you try to prioritise better, check whether there is any order in there at all. Plenty of people who feel stuck cannot say which of their jobs is genuinely required and which is merely wanted.

You can test it in a couple of minutes. Write the things down and mark the ones that carry a real consequence if they do not happen this week. If you…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3One line of research

Whatever system you build has to survive a bad day. When feeling comes in a wave, the calendar and the checklist are the first things to go, so decide now what that hour looks like.

Write down the smallest possible version of the day: the two things that still happen, everything else forgiven until tomorrow. Have somewhere for…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:283One line of research

When something has become impossible, start far below it. Sitting in the parked car with the engine off is a real first step, and it is the one that gets somewhere.

Choose a version so small it feels slightly ridiculous, repeat it until it is dull, then add one notch. Sit in the car. Then start the engine. Then…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114One line of research

If everything you do is both urgent and important, you are living in the emergency corner. It is exhausting, and the exhaustion is real even though the week looks thin from outside.

Crisis living is a place rather than a personality, which is the good news, because places can be left. Look for one emergency that keeps coming back…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48One line of research

If deleting makes you anxious, do not delete. Keep two lists: a short one for this week, and a long one where things are safe but out of the way.

The anxiety is usually about losing the idea rather than about the task itself, and a separate holding list answers that. Nothing is gone, it is…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59One line of research

When someone has shut down, pressure to get moving usually pushes them further in. Safety first and activity afterwards, even when the whole household is desperate for a sign of life.

Safety here is ordinary and physical. Food that turns up without being asked for. A room nobody is inspecting. Conversation that is not a progress…

LongerSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 22:78One line of research

If most of the difficulty is happening at home, most of the work needs to happen with the household in the room. Otherwise the hour of good conversation gets quietly undone by Tuesday.

In a settled stretch, seeing the young person on their own with occasional family time is fine. In a crisis, turn it round: everyone together,…

LongerSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 42:38One line of research

The pull towards bread, pasta and biscuits when you are low is not simply greed. Carbohydrate makes it easier for the brain to get hold of the raw material it needs for serotonin, so it gives a real if short lived lift.

Calling it self medication instead of a failure of character changes what you do next. You stop trying to out-discipline the craving and start asking…

A minuteFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 52:19One line of research

When digestion goes wrong there are usually two things to look at rather than one: something you are eating that does not suit you, and a body too braced to digest properly. Checking only one door tends to leave you stuck.

Digestion mostly happens when your body believes it is safe. If you eat every meal with your shoulders up round your ears, that alone can show up as…

Five minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 106:4One line of research

Irritable bowel symptoms turn up more often in people with ADHD, and they tend to track stress. If your stomach is at its worst in the weeks when everything else is at its worst, that is information rather than coincidence.

Two things help more often than they get suggested. Cutting caffeine frequently settles symptoms on its own, since it speeds the gut up and raises…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 106:4One line of research

Stress unsettles the gut and an unsettled gut drags on mood, so the two keep each other going. The good news buried in that is you can step in from either end.

You do not have to establish which came first. Easing the pressure on your nervous system helps digestion, steadying what you eat helps mood, and…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:168One line of research

If the size of the feeling does not match the size of what just happened, it is probably carrying something older into the room.

Feeling has no real sense of when. An old injury arrives in the present body with all its original force, which is why a small remark can flatten…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:84One line of research

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154One line of research

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97One line of research