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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
The person roaring at you is very often the most frightened one in the room. Holding that in mind steadies you, and your steadiness is a good half of what settles them.
Most of us find it easy to be kind to somebody who is visibly afraid and much harder when the fear arrives as shouting. Your own alarm is the thing…
A kinder explanation of the behaviour does not replace the accurate name for it. Both belong on the page.
Understanding anger as fear changes how you approach somebody and what you try. It does not change what the problem is called, what gets written…
When somebody manages a partner through anger, it is worth asking what the control is guarding. Very often the answer is a fear of being left.
Telling someone that nobody else would have them is that fear turned into a weapon, and it usually arrives when the person feels furthest away.…
When anger turns up, in you or in front of you, two questions do most of the work: what is the fear underneath this, and what would make that fear bearable without the anger?
The first question slows everything down, because a fear is usually easier to name than to defend. The second stops you at insight: if the fear is of…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
When someone comes at you angry, listen for the fear in it. It changes what you say next, and it changes what their anger does to you.
A raised voice usually produces apprehension, and apprehension makes people stiffen or back away. Hearing frightened rather than hostile leaves you…