The weight of uquq is real, and it has edges

Any course that only tells you that you are allowed a limit, and never tells you how serious undutifulness to parents is, does not deserve to be trusted. So here it is. The report below places uquq among the gravest of the major sins, alongside associating others with Allah.

Now the part that usually gets left off, and we have had to change how we say it. The jurists worked with a definition of uquq that has edges, and it is usually referred to the commentaries on this report. We could not check that reference against any text we hold. So we are not going to put a named scholar and a wording on this page that we have not read, and you should be suspicious of any page that does it without a volume and a page.

What we can point at is the wording of the texts themselves, and for what you need it is enough. Refusing an instruction and failing in kindness are not the same act. The step before last showed you a verse where the two are separated inside one sentence, in the gravest case there is. And 4:135, below, commands standing by the truth even where the truth goes against a parent, which tells you that the category of things a child may do that a parent will not like is not an empty one.

So both halves stand. The gravity above is real, and it is not a description of you, because nobody here has told you that what you are doing is uquq. Where the line falls in your own case is a question for somebody who knows both you and the law. Ask it plainly, once, and take the answer.