Money, papers, and the religion used as a lever

Financial harm comes in three shapes. Restriction, where you have no money you can reach without asking. Exploitation, where debt is taken in your name, or your wages go into an account you cannot open. And sabotage, where the job goes, because of the phone calls to your work, or the childcare that keeps falling through on the days you need it.

It is not a smaller category. It is usually the thing that makes leaving impossible, which is why it is worth naming first.

Worth knowing now rather than on the night you need it. Hind bint Utba came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said that her husband was a miser who did not give her enough for herself and her children, and asked whether she could take from his property without his knowledge. She was told to take what was sufficient for her and her children, and that the amount should be just and reasonable. Scholars have not agreed on how far that reaches. Ibn Sirin, Ibrahim al-Nakha'i and Sufyan held that a person may take what is due to them. Malik and others held that they may not. Which of those applies to you is a question for somebody who knows your situation, and not for a course.

Papers work the same way. Your passport, your visa, your residence status held by somebody else, and a sentence about what would happen to you if he made a phone call. And the religion gets used as the same kind of lever. Rulings produced only when they are useful. Being told that speaking to your family about this is backbiting. Being told your prayers will not be accepted. Somebody who does not pray telling you what Allah requires of you.