Lesson 6 of 6 · Who to tell, and how to reach them
If one thing stays with you
Let it be three, and they are short.
Control is a pattern, not an incident, and the fact that you cannot point to one night does not mean nothing is happening. Nothing in the religion requires you to be the container for another person's cruelty, and the exit routes exist, though which one is open to you needs a scholar and a lawyer and not a course. And risk is raised around leaving, which is a reason to prepare beforehand and with somebody who does this work, and never a reason to stay.
Two sentences sit under that, and neither asks anything of you tonight. Allah forbade oppression upon Himself before He forbade it between people. And Allah does not like bad words to be made public, unless the person speaking has been wronged.
One person outside the loop who believes you changes more than anything you can do alone. Not because they fix it. Because they give you back your second instrument.
Qur’an and Sunnah
One of the two sentences sitting under all of this, and neither asks anything of you tonight. Allah does not like bad words to be made public, unless the person speaking has been wronged.
۞لَّا يُحِبُّ ٱللَّهُ ٱلۡجَهۡرَ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ مِنَ ٱلۡقَوۡلِ إِلَّا مَن ظُلِمَۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ سَمِيعًا عَلِيمًا
God does not like bad words to be made public unless someone has been wronged: He is all hearing and all knowing
Qur’an 4:148
And the other. Allah forbade oppression upon Himself before He forbade it between people.
Abu Dharr reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said:"O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you, O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and will not attain benefitting Me so as to benefit Me. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My dominion in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My dominion in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more that a needle decreases the sea if put into it. O My servants, it is but your deeds that I record for you and then recompense you for. So let him who finds good, praise Allah, and let him who finds other than that blame no one but himself." Sa'id said that when Abu Idris Khaulini narrated this hadith he knelt upon his knees
Sahih Muslim 2577graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.