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Areas › Your marriage › Rituals of connection
The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.
If you are grateful, I will give you more (Qur'an 14:7). Marking a blessing is gratitude, and gratitude is met with increase.
إبراهيم
وَإِذۡ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمۡ لَئِن شَكَرۡتُمۡ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمۡۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرۡتُمۡ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدࣱ
Remember that He promised, “If you are thankful, I will give you more, but if you are thankless, My punishment is terrible indeed.” ’
Qur’an 14:7read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Gottman's shared meaning includes the rituals a couple builds around anniversaries and milestones, which is how a shared history accumulates. Pausing to honour one gives the time you have spent together some weight.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 7, Create Shared Meaning. Marriage has a spiritual dimension built from rituals of connection, shared roles, goals and symbols, and a couple with a common sense of purpose weathers conflict that would otherwise divide them.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Rituals around milestones weave a couple's shared history and gratitude.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Create Shared Meaning; Rituals of Connection around milestones and anniversaries.