Practices

When a young person with ADHD goes through a first breakup or loses a friendship group, stay closer than usual. Do not wait for the next arranged contact.

Rejection lands harder here, and impulsivity shortens the gap between feeling unbearable and acting on it. A short unannounced check in, a lift…

With children, acting a situation out teaches far more than talking about it. Play the scene, swap roles, get it wrong, do it again.

Explaining social rules to a child who missed them leans on the same steady attention that let them slip past in the first place. Rehearsal skips…

Rather than arguing that someone ought to get organised, ask one question. Would your life be better if fewer things slipped, fewer people were annoyed with you, and you spent less of the day worrying about what you had forgotten?

The answer is nearly always yes, and it lands differently when the person says it instead of hearing it. Keep the list concrete and drawn from their…

A child who cannot yet catch their own drifting needs somebody close enough to catch it for them. Where they sit does a lot of that work quietly.

From nearby a teacher sees attention go before the work is lost, and can bring the child back without stopping the lesson for everyone. Proximity…

Bring a child back with the smallest signal that does the job. A tap on the desk, a hand on the shoulder, or simply standing beside them will usually be enough.

Say a child's name across a room and everyone turns to look. Do that twenty times a day and the child learns something about themselves in front of…

Get the child's eyes first, then give one instruction. The page, how much, and by when, and then stop.

An instruction thrown at a busy room never reaches the child who most needs it, so the name and the eye contact come before any content at all. Then…

If a young person hears your suggestion of a planner as one more instruction, they will refuse it, and the refusal is about who is in charge rather than about diaries. Hand over the choice of format and the choice of what goes in.

It helps to be plain that this is theirs and not a monitoring device. That means not reading it over their shoulder and not producing it as evidence…

Anything with more than one step gets written down, and the child does the writing. Ten problems, check them against the answers, correct what is wrong: three lines in their own hand.

A handout would carry the same words, but writing it themselves does two extra things. It puts the sequence somewhere they can look again when step…

Put the rules up on the wall where everyone can see them, and put the child's own version on a card on their desk.

A rule that lives only in memory is not there in the second it is needed, which is the second something more interesting has just walked past. A card…

Some children need to move, and the choice is whether that movement is allowed for or whether it arrives as a disruption later on.

A ball chair, a standing desk, a seat near the front, or permission to walk to the back and return with a nod and nothing said: any of these let the…

While you are talking, have them writing. Notes give attention something to hold onto, and they let you see at a glance who has gone.

Listening on its own asks a child to do nothing visible for a long stretch, and attention quietly drains away with nobody able to tell. A pen moving…

Where you can, let the learning be something done rather than something sat through. Typing instead of writing, a calculator instead of longhand, a built model instead of an essay.

The knowledge is usually already there. What fails is showing it through a long, still, low feedback task, and that is the part worth redesigning.…

Somebody will eventually ask you whether you want what is best for your child. It is a sales line, and knowing that in advance is most of what you need to withstand it.

Parents of a newly diagnosed child are frightened, motivated and often exhausted, which is exactly the state that gets marketed to. The question is…

Most children with ADHD can tell you exactly what they should have done. The knowing was never the missing piece, which is why a course teaching the knowing changes so little.

Watch closely and you see the skill appear in quiet moments and vanish in loud ones, when another child has already grabbed the ball and there is…

Decide at the start what you are actually aiming at. Eight difficulties down to six, then to four, then perhaps to two. Never zero, because zero was never on offer.

Everybody has some of these traits, and ADHD is largely inherited, so a life with none of it was never a realistic target for anyone. Naming a number…

Hear this before you start rather than after: change here is gradual. Habits built over twenty years do not come apart in three weeks.

Waiting is genuinely harder with ADHD, and a treatment whose reward is months away is exactly the sort of thing that gets dropped in week five.…