Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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52 practices

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Step in while a child is only starting to wind up, and offer something calming rather than a correction. Slow breathing, counting, a soft toy, a quiet corner for a few minutes.

Three to ten minutes in a set place is plenty. It works best when the offer is warm and matter of fact, one sentence, no lecture about what they did.…

Five minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 13:28One line of research

The whole value of a calming corner is that the child can take themselves there. An adult may suggest it, but if it is only ever ordered, what gets learned is obedience rather than self-regulation.

Make it clearly available rather than assigned. They go, they take their few minutes, they come back with a short hello and a nod at whatever they…

Five minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 2:45One line of research

Instead of sending a child out to sit and stew, send them to a side table for three very easy worksheets, then straight back to whatever everyone else is doing.

It takes them out of whatever was rewarding about the behaviour without leaving them with nothing to do and an audience to play to. Keep the work…

Five minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 20:26One line of research

If you are permanently behind, short of sleep and scrambling, that is not the backdrop to your short fuse. A good deal of the time it is the cause of it.

This is what makes the dull organisational work worth doing, because it buys you something you actually want. A morning that is not a panic leaves…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 94:1One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Putting something off is often fear wearing a lazy costume. If planners have never fixed it for you, that is a clue the trouble is what the task makes you feel, not what your diary looks like.

Ask what you expect to happen when you open it. There is usually something specific in there: that it will be wrong, that it will swallow the whole…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:45One line of research

Sometimes both roads carry a cost and neither will feel good. Accept that first, then choose, rather than searching for the option that comes without a sting.

A lot of long deliberation is really a search for the version that leaves nobody upset and nothing lost. When that version does not exist, the search…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:45One line of research

Look at what you are actually working for this week. If every item is there to stop someone being cross or something going wrong, you are running on avoidance, and it is exhausting.

Avoidance does get things done, but only at the last moment and only with dread attached, and it leaves behind nothing you wanted. Take one thing off…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 29:69One line of research

If not knowing makes you itch, the work is learning to sit with the itch rather than making it go away. The plan can stay unfinished while you get on with today.

For some of us an unresolved question hums in the background until it is settled, and settling it becomes urgent even when nothing depends on it.…

LongerGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 94:8One line of research

When someone says their heart races on their medication, ask whether it ever did before they started. It is the cheapest question you have and it usually sorts the answer out.

Go looking for the old settings: waiting to be called on in class, standing outside a room before a difficult conversation, three in the morning with…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32One line of research

Very sweet, very salty, very fatty food acts on the reward system in a way that has more in common with a drug than with dinner. Reaching for it when you are flat is self-medication, not greed.

Knowing that changes what you do about it. Counting calories and resolving to try harder both aim at willpower, which was never the mechanism in the…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:53One line of research

With gambling machines the pull may be the lights and the noise as much as the chance of winning. That changes what you actually need to stay away from.

If the sensory buzz is doing the work, the triggers are not only the betting shop. They are the phone games built with the same flashing and chiming,…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 16:43One line of research

Attention and impulse problems that appear for the first time in middle age or later are not ADHD arriving late. They need a doctor to look, not a prescription.

Several conditions affecting the frontal lobes can show up first as new disinhibition, poor judgement or a change in personality, and some are…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7One line of research

Ask for the most frightening moment of their life, then the next one down, then the next, until there is a scale running from one to a hundred. You get the ladder you needed, and they get something they did not expect: fear comes in sizes.

Do it slowly and write it in their words rather than yours. Most people arrive believing anxiety is one solid block that either has hold of them or…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:83One line of research

When a child with attention difficulties is also at war with every instruction, that pairing is worth taking to someone early rather than waiting to see whether it settles.

The two travel together often, and a minority of children follow a path from constant defiance into more serious trouble later. Every stage of that…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216One line of research

There is a point where a to do list stops being a tool and becomes something you flinch away from. If you have not opened yours in a fortnight, it has passed that point.

The usual advice is to work through it, which is precisely what nobody does with a list that long. It is kinder and quicker to start a fresh page…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:24One line of research

When you are already behind, rest feels like the one thing you cannot afford. That feeling is usually what keeps you behind.

Running from one near disaster to the next burns exactly the abilities you need in order to dig out: planning, holding a thought long enough to use…

Five minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 4:28One line of research

Some people are in this far enough that an hour a week will not reach them, and the places that could help are expensive or full. Saying so out loud is part of the work, not a failure of it.

Being honest early does two things. It stops you quietly concluding that you are not good enough, when what is actually happening is that the…

Five minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 2:286One line of research

Check, feel the small relief, put it down, feel the pull again a minute later. If your phone use has that shape, it is running like a compulsion, whatever else it is.

The structure matters more here than the label. An urge rises, checking brings it down, and every check teaches the urge to come back sooner. Which…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 6:68One line of research

There is a rough ladder for tech overuse. Build a schedule together with some outside control at first, add substitutes once the person can stop for a while, then more intensive care, and residential only when someone is entirely taken over by it.

The order matters more than the rungs. You cannot install a better alternative in someone who has no capacity yet to put the thing down, so a bit of…

LongerScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 17:110One line of research

It tends to run the same way each time. You struggle with something, you feel awful about it, so you keep away from it, and anyone who raises it gets a sharp answer, which makes you keep away harder.

The relief when you avoid it arrives instantly, which is exactly why the loop tightens. Meanwhile the pile of unopened post has not moved, so next…

Five minutesSelf-compassionADHD skillsQur’an 39:53One line of research