Practices

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

Before you walk out, say three things: this is getting heated, I need a bit of space, I will be back and we will carry on. The sentence is the skill, not the walking.

An exit with no words is read as punishment, and the other person will usually follow you to finish it, which is how a break turns into the worst…

If you go silent under stress, say so instead of vanishing: I need a pause, I will be back.

Stonewalling reads as contempt from the other side. A word turns a wall into a window.

When you feel the urge to defend yourself, take a small piece of responsibility instead.

You are right, I am sorry I was late; I will watch the time. A small yes lowers the heat fast.

Raise the issue as a complaint about a behavior, not an attack on their character. Skip you always and you never.

I was scared when you did not call is a complaint. You are so selfish is an attack. Aim for the first.