Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

What matches

84 practices

Narrow these down

Anger sends people back to the thing they had stopped, and the thing they had stopped makes the anger worse. Any plan that treats these as two separate projects tends to come apart.

Write anger into the relapse plan by name, alongside the parties, the old friends and the difficult anniversary. Then when you look at the anger, ask…

Twenty minutesAnger, alcohol and the bodyMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:168One line of research

When someone with attention difficulties loses the structure around them, the difficulty shows in full. Nothing has got worse in them; the scaffolding that carried part of it has gone.

Bells, a timetable, a teacher at the front, other people visibly working: all of that was taking some of the load. At home the load falls on whoever…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:45One line of research

Sometimes a parent who seemed cold or impossible to please turns out to have been working with a different wiring altogether. Learning that can loosen something no amount of arguing with yourself would.

One young woman spent years reading her father's behaviour as a verdict on her, and later came to understand him as autistic, which she had never…

Twenty minutesBeing seen and judgedNarrativeQur’an 49:12One line of research

Anger numbs. If it is doing the work of a painkiller for you, it will be hard to put down while the pain underneath is still untreated.

Ask what tends to be there in the half hour before you flare: a bit of shame, feeling small, an old fear about being left. The anger often arrives to…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstCore

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

What anger actually is

What worry does

When you use something to cope

Being seen and judged

Anger, alcohol and the body

The cost of avoiding

Your sense of time

Grounding and settling

What you are actually defending

Use your strengths

Breaking the worry loop

Equanimity and perspective

Qur’an 94:1

One line of research

Shouting it out does not empty the tank. Going over it loudly, in your head or at somebody, tends to keep the anger topped up rather than draining it.

There is a difference between letting pressure out of the body and rehearsing the grievance. A walk, a swim, hard cleaning, prayer: all of that…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 89:27One line of research

Anger leaves fuel in the body with nowhere to go. Spend it on something physical, without replaying the argument while you do.

This is not getting it off your chest. The target is the surplus energy, so stairs, a brisk walk, or a hard ten minutes of almost anything will do…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 28:73One line of research

Sometimes the drinking or the smoking is not the first problem at all. It is somebody's own treatment for an attention difficulty or an anxiety nobody has looked at yet.

You can usually tell from what it is used for: to speak in a group, to sit still long enough to work, to sleep. Where that is the shape of it, work…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 13:11One line of research

Draw your own chart of the moment you usually give in, with the questions you actually ask yourself, and put it where you will see it.

One woman smoking around ten bowls a day made hers as a set of branches: is it a working day, have I been to work, are the errands done, are the…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 16:67One line of research

Difficult things come out more easily when your hands are occupied and you are not looking straight at the other person. Walk side by side, drive somewhere, wash up together, keep the sewing going.

If you are the one listening, offer it first. Most people assume that picking something up would look rude or half interested, so they sit still and…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 3:159One line of research

Not knowing how to do an ordinary thing, a bank transfer, a form, a phone call to book something, says nothing about your intelligence. It says nobody ever sat down and showed you.

These gaps hide well, because they embarrass people in a way that larger problems somehow do not. Someone can talk fluently about difficult ideas and…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2One line of research

Whatever system you build has to survive a bad day. When feeling comes in a wave, the calendar and the checklist are the first things to go, so decide now what that hour looks like.

Write down the smallest possible version of the day: the two things that still happen, everything else forgiven until tomorrow. Have somewhere for…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:283One line of research

When something has become impossible, start far below it. Sitting in the parked car with the engine off is a real first step, and it is the one that gets somewhere.

Choose a version so small it feels slightly ridiculous, repeat it until it is dull, then add one notch. Sit in the car. Then start the engine. Then…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114One line of research

If everything you do is both urgent and important, you are living in the emergency corner. It is exhausting, and the exhaustion is real even though the week looks thin from outside.

Crisis living is a place rather than a personality, which is the good news, because places can be left. Look for one emergency that keeps coming back…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48One line of research

Some things only happen when another person is there, even if they are doing something entirely different. Ring a friend and clean your two kitchens together with the phone on the counter.

This works for studying, tidying, paperwork and the weekly shop, because what you are borrowing is presence rather than help. Agree a start time and…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2One line of research

If deleting makes you anxious, do not delete. Keep two lists: a short one for this week, and a long one where things are safe but out of the way.

The anxiety is usually about losing the idea rather than about the task itself, and a separate holding list answers that. Nothing is gone, it is…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59One line of research

Irritable bowel symptoms turn up more often in people with ADHD, and they tend to track stress. If your stomach is at its worst in the weeks when everything else is at its worst, that is information rather than coincidence.

Two things help more often than they get suggested. Cutting caffeine frequently settles symptoms on its own, since it speeds the gut up and raises…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 106:4One line of research

If your mood drops reliably as the light goes, that is worth naming as a thing in its own right. Seasonal low is more common alongside ADHD, and a light box first thing in the morning helps a lot of people.

Use it early in the day and use it consistently, since the timing is part of how it works. It is also worth asking whoever prescribes for you about…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 36:33One line of research

The aim is not to become someone with no force in them. It is to get a harness on the force and point it at something worth doing.

Anger usually knows something true: this was unfair, this matters to me, this cannot carry on. Keep that part and drop the delivery. The energy can…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 12:86One line of research

Give the anger a room rather than a target. Music up loud, walk fast, dance badly, shake your arms out until something in you settles.

Some children's grief centres keep a padded room where a child can go in and move however they need to, with nothing to hit and nothing to break.…

Twenty minutesLetting it out safelyGriefQur’an 10:12One line of research

Write the exact thing you are furious about on a paper plate, tape it to the wall, and throw wet cotton balls at it. It sounds childish, and it does more than swinging at nothing.

Half the good of it is in the writing. Vague anger has to become a sentence before it can go on the plate, and reading that sentence back usually…

Twenty minutesLetting it out safelyGriefQur’an 38:41One line of research