Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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201 practices

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The parts of the brain that plan and hold back keep developing into the mid twenties, so the person struggling at nineteen is not the finished version. Real gains come with time, though they do not add up to becoming someone without ADHD.

Hold that both ways. It is a reason for patience, and for not writing anybody off at nineteen. It is also a reason to plan for ongoing management…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 23:14One line of research

Cognitive testing done on a day without medication can come out well below what a person can actually do. If a score is going to decide a school placement, make sure the conditions on the day are recorded.

The parts of these tests that are timed, or that ask you to hold numbers in your head, are exactly the parts untreated ADHD drags down, and they pull…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 6:152One line of research

Keep two or three trustworthy places to read about ADHD and go there first. Confident, tidy explanations online are easy to find, and most of them have nobody checking them.

Look for organisations that cite their sources and say when something is uncertain, and treat a personal account as a personal account rather than as…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 39:9One line of research

Explain ADHD to the child themselves, in words they can hold. Something like: your brain is brilliant at things it finds interesting and needs extra help with things it finds boring, and we are going to work out that help together.

Children build an explanation whether or not you give them one, and the one they build is usually about being bad. A short, matter of fact account,…

Five minutes

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

The fear underneath anger

Shame and stigma

Systems for daily life

Breathing

Being seen and judged

Treatment and medication

Feeling from the inside

Living with uncertainty

Breaking the worry loop

When you use something to cope

What you are actually defending

Screens and attention

Structure and routine

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What ADHD actually is

ADHD skills

Qur’an 23:12

One line of research

ADHD tends to surface at the points where life asks for more organising: a new school year with seven teachers, the first term at university, a first job, a promotion into managing other people.

The pattern is always the same. Something that was holding things together is removed, or the amount you have to run yourself goes up, and what was…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 2:286One line of research

Things often seem to get worse in the weeks after a diagnosis. Usually nothing has got worse. You are simply seeing what was always there, and now you have a name to hang it on.

You will start joining things up: the lost keys, the half finished projects, the reason that job ended. It can feel like the diagnosis broke…

Five minutesWhat ADHD actually isADHD skillsQur’an 51:21One line of research

There is no single correct account of anger that works on everyone. Keep a few to hand and offer the one this person can actually take.

Some people settle the moment they hear that the body moves before thought arrives. Others need it put as an old survival system, or as something…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 3:159One line of research

One clear explanation is rarely enough. Say the important part again later in different words, and expect to say it again after that.

The thing you most want someone to have in a hot moment is the first thing that goes missing. Reactivity arriving ahead of thought is worth stating…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 23:96One line of research

This is just how I am ends more attempts at change than anything else. It is also less true than it feels.

Temperament is real and some people do run hotter than others. What is not fixed is what you do in the ten seconds after something lands, and that is…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 15:47One line of research

Humans have a long history of harming each other, and pretending otherwise keeps nobody safe. Assume the capacity is there and plan around it.

Saying this plainly is not gloom. If you expect people to be naturally peaceable, an aggressive impulse looks like a monstrous exception, and you…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53One line of research

Some situations genuinely run on how you are seen. A job interview, a court hearing, a first meeting with in-laws: the image matters there, and it is honest to say so.

The claim is only that most of life is not one of those, and that the fear of disrespect is far larger than its actual cost. Keeping the exceptions…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 4:135One line of research

Before you go towards the thing you are afraid of, it helps to have two things to hand: a way to settle your body, and a fairer account of what is likely to happen.

Neither of them is meant to take the fear away. They are there so you can stay in the situation long enough for it to teach you something, and that…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 2:153One line of research

Sound based work is aimed at a particular set of troubles: noise that feels too loud, voices that turn to mush, jumpiness, difficulty reading people. If that is you, it is worth asking about.

It gets chosen by what your system does rather than by a diagnosis, which is why the same programme is used with very different people, from toddlers…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78One line of research

Most of the research on this programme was done with autistic children. For trauma, what exists is case reports and studies still under way.

That does not make it useless. It does mean you would be trying something promising rather than something established, and you deserve to know that…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191One line of research

A useful picture: the parts of your brain are sections of an orchestra. In dysregulation they are playing different tunes at different speeds. The aim is timing, not repair.

This is a kinder frame than damage, and a more accurate one. Nothing is broken or missing. What has gone is the coordination between parts that used…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:96One line of research

Neurofeedback usually starts with an assessment, then a block of sessions, then a review, and it is mostly paid for privately. Ask about all of that before you begin.

It is a referral rather than something your therapist adds to a session, so you are taking on a second appointment, a second bill and a second…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 78:11One line of research

Neurofeedback has its strongest support in attention difficulties, decent support in depression and anxiety, and for trauma it is promising rather than proven.

Reported gains include better sleep and attention, less irritability and fewer trauma symptoms. The honest caveats are cost, wide variation in how…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 67:23One line of research

The first several attempts at any of this will feel awkward and slightly fake. That is not a sign it is not for you.

Repetition is what makes a practice smooth, in the way a piece of music or a gear change stops needing your whole attention after a few weeks. Early…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41One line of research

If nobody helped you learn to settle when you were small, you can still learn it now. Slower and more deliberately, but genuinely.

Reading about early development can leave people feeling sentenced, as though the window shut at three and that was that. The same capacity to adapt…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:152One line of research

If you want to breathe more slowly, add one count at a time over weeks. Four in and four out this month, five next month, and no hurry after that.

Very slow breathing can bring on air hunger, that feeling of not getting enough, and for some people it tips straight into panic. Good reason to…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:286One line of research