Areas › Your body
Your body
You cannot think your way out of a body that is braced. This area starts there: the breath, the ground under you, moving, eating, resting, and the small physical things that change how the rest of the day lands.
What works for this
Working from the body first
A body that has not slept, eaten or moved has less left over for holding itself steady. Changing the state you are in is often faster than changing the thoughts you are having, and it is more reliable when you are already worn out.
One move, today
A long slow out breath, longer than the in breath, three times. The out breath is the part that does the work.
What matches
18 practicesA child cannot watch their own breathing, so give them something to watch instead. Bubbles through a wand show the out breath as it happens: too hard and it bursts, too weak and nothing comes.
Smelling a flower and then blowing it out gives each half of the breath a picture. The bubble wand is better still, because it answers back straight…
When someone is distressed, moving too fast to settle them can land as a message that their distress is not welcome here. Let them set the speed.
Offering a breath, a blanket, a change of subject: all of it can help, and all of it can arrive as a shutting down if it comes before the person has…
Start with a couple of minutes of movement before any of the difficult talking. Not a warm up for its own sake: a body that has moved is easier to think in.
Two or three minutes is enough. Roll the shoulders, round and lengthen the spine, turn gently side to side. It also says something without anyone…
Let the breath go along with the movement rather than counting it out. If you are guiding someone, do not set the pace of their breathing for them.
Being told exactly when to breathe in and out is unpleasant for more people than you would expect, and for anyone whose breath was held tight through…
When somebody does not take up the movement you suggested, ask what got in the way before deciding they did not want to. Usually it is money, childcare, transport or time.
Cost, an awkward class time, nobody to watch the children, a room full of people you would have to make conversation with. None of that is…
If you are the therapist, you do not need to become the movement teacher as well. Sending somebody to a person trained for it is the better version of helping.
The evidence is for movement alongside therapy, not for therapy with a few stretches added by someone who picked them up from a video. Handing it…
Keeping your eyes open holds you in the room while you feel what is going on inside. One channel on where you actually are, one on yourself.
Closed eyes are the default in most classes and they are not always kind. When a lot is stirring, letting the eyes stay soft but open, so the light…
You rarely need the whole tour. Pick the one place the tension actually lives for this person today, and work there.
A real session has no room for a long sequence and no need of one. Watch where the holding shows itself: a jaw that never rests, shoulders up near…
Keep offering these small practices and people start asking for them. When someone requests one by name, something has changed about who is running their regulation.
Responses also speed up with repetition, so what needed ten minutes in the first month can take two later on. Name that shift out loud when it…
If pain is the thing you live with, start the session with the stroking sequence rather than the conversation. Arms, forehead, crown, cheeks, slowly.
It does two jobs in one go: gentle wide contact takes some edge off the pain, and it brings a person out of guarded alertness into being able to…
Reaching for another person when you are wound up is not a distraction from coping. Contact can turn the alarm down at the source.
This is why a short call, a message to someone who knows you, or sitting in the same room as family is worth doing before you get as far as the…
When someone is frightened, your words may not reach them however sensible they are. Drop your voice, slow right down, and let the tone do the work.
In high alarm, hearing tips towards low rumbling sounds and away from the range the human voice sits in, so reassurance can genuinely fail to land.…
None of this needs explaining to work. A child who cannot say what happened can still be helped by breath, movement and sound.
That makes body based work useful right across the ages, and for anyone who finds talking hard, including people whose language is not the one the…
When someone cannot take in your reassurance while they are frightened, that is the receiver and not their willingness. Wait for the wave to pass and try again.
In high arousal, hearing shifts away from the band the human voice occupies, so kind words can genuinely arrive as noise. It is easy to read that as…
Keep the explanation short when you offer this to someone. It is a way of breathing that gets your heart to send your brain a message to settle. Would you like to try it?
Long technical framings cost more than they buy. They ask a person to take in a great deal before they have felt anything, and the offer of a choice…
A child who does not feel safe cannot filter the room. The pencil scratch, the scraping chair, the fan and the rustle of a coat all arrive at the same volume as the teacher.
So the attention problem is real, and it is not the same thing as not caring or not trying. A quieter corner, a seat away from the noisy fan, a…
A child at the nursery door who charms you, then rages, then crumples is running through the whole repertoire in ninety seconds. Nothing has gone wrong yet.
The sequence is ordinary: try connection first, then protest, then collapse when neither works. What decides how the morning lands is what happens…
You do not have to read your child perfectly. Good enough, with repair after the ruptures, is what builds their steadiness.
Parents who read about how early experience shapes a child's stress system often hear it as a verdict on every time they snapped. That is not what it…