Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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223 practices

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When a child with attention difficulties is also at war with every instruction, that pairing is worth taking to someone early rather than waiting to see whether it settles.

The two travel together often, and a minority of children follow a path from constant defiance into more serious trouble later. Every stage of that…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216One line of research

Practise with the noise on, at least some of the time. The quiet room is not where you are going to need the skill.

A calm that only exists in a silent house is not much use in an open plan office or a kitchen at teatime. Once you can settle in the quiet, do a…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 2:153Long taught, never tested

Instead of breathing deeply in general, pick the place that feels tight, the front of the ribs, the chest, one shoulder, and send the breath there.

You are not really moving air into your shoulder, but putting your attention there while you breathe does two things: you start to feel that area in…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 39:23Long taught, never tested

Your brain is less a single organ than a crowd of billions of cells working out what to do next. The angry pull you feel is one voice in that crowd, not the whole of you.

This matters most in the second when an impulse arrives sounding completely certain. You can hear it, treat it as one contribution, and still not act…

A minuteMaking it stickCoreQur’an 13:11One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Safety and grounding

Name what you feel

Listening and understanding

Let the wave come

Working with anger

When anger turns to harm

Question the thought

Patience and trust

Meaning after harm

When everything feels flat

The cost of avoiding

Grounding and settling

Feeling from the inside

Emotions as signals

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Ride the urge

Rebuild trust

Shared spiritual life

Validate yourself and others

Shame

Act on your values

Your window of tolerance

Obsessions and compulsions

Bringing the future closer

Medication and how it works

Food, caffeine and fuel

When you use something to cope

Breathing

Listen to the body

Care for yourself in loss

Sometimes you can feel the whole exchange lined up before it starts: your line, then theirs, then the door. Leaving your line out is enough to stop the sequence that once.

Nothing impressive is required. You sit there, you say nothing, you let the moment go past unfilled and you find out that it can. Some scripts do…

A minuteMaking it stickCoreQur’an 31:17One line of research

Notice how much of the tightness in you is the verdict you are passing. As the judging comes down, the body tends to come down with it.

This is something you can test rather than something to believe. Catch yourself narrating: he always does this, she has no respect, typical. Then…

Five minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 16:127One line of research

Knowing something calmly and feeling it are two separate achievements, and the second takes longer. If you can say the reasonable thing but it does not touch how you feel, you are partway, not failing.

The gap does not close by arguing with yourself harder. It closes by living it: doing the practice in real situations, in your body, while the…

Twenty minutesMaking it stickCoreQur’an 87:8One line of research

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70Seen more than once

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60Seen more than once

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5One line of research

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16One line of research

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60One line of research

When grief rises like a wave, let it come and let it pass. Do not brace against it or push it down.

Grief arrives in waves, not a straight line. A wave allowed to rise will also fall. Fighting it is what makes it last.

A minuteLet the wave comeGriefQur’an 2:156One line of research

Let yourself weep. Tears over someone you love are not a failure of faith or of strength.

Crying is not the opposite of patience. It is the body grieving honestly, and it passes more cleanly when it is not shamed.

A minuteLet the wave comeGriefQur’an 12:84One line of research

Take the sorrow you cannot say to anyone else and pour it out to God, in your own plain words.

You do not have to hold it alone or find the right phrase. Say the raw thing to the One who already knows it.

Five minutesLet the wave comeGriefQur’an 12:86One line of research

Notice where the fear sits in your body, the chest, the throat, the gut, and breathe gently toward it.

The body remembers what words forget. Meeting the sensation with breath, not judgement, begins to loosen it.

A minuteListen to the bodyTrauma informedQur’an 89:27One line of research

When your partner is angry, do not take it personally or rush to apologize. Ask what the anger is protecting.

All anger has a goal and something blocking it. Find both. What do you need is a good question.

Five minutesListening and understandingGottmanQur’an 7:199One line of research

When your partner is sad, do not try to cheer them up or fix it. Find out what is lost or missing.

You are a traveler; they are the guide into their own landscape of sadness. Let them show you.

Five minutesListening and understandingGottmanQur’an 12:86One line of research

When your partner is afraid, do not minimize it or reassure it away. Ask what is making them feel unsafe.

To a fearful person, do not worry can feel like ridicule. Take the fear seriously and understand it.

Five minutesListening and understandingGottmanQur’an 20:46One line of research

If a medicine leaves you wired, restless or with a pulse that will not settle, report it rather than tolerating it quietly.

The antidepressants that act on noradrenaline as well as serotonin can raise blood pressure and put nerves on edge, and with some of them that grows…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 13:28One line of research