Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

What matches

419 practices

Narrow these down

Home DNA tests turn up relatives nobody expected. If someone is thinking of taking one to fill in a blank family history, it is worth saying out loud that it may hand them more than they asked for.

People find half siblings. Sometimes they find that the story they were told about their birth was not the story. That is a great deal to receive by…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 50:16One line of research

Attention and impulse problems that appear for the first time in middle age or later are not ADHD arriving late. They need a doctor to look, not a prescription.

Several conditions affecting the frontal lobes can show up first as new disinhibition, poor judgement or a change in personality, and some are…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7One line of research

Ask whether anyone kept the old school reports. The same lines turn up generation after generation: not working to potential, talks too much, never has the right books with him.

They were written by teachers who had never heard of ADHD, about children nobody was going to assess, and that is exactly what makes them worth…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5One line of research

Praise a quality of their character, not only something they did.

To be admired for who you are, not just what you produced, is a rare and steadying gift.

A minuteGratitudeCoreQur’an 68:4Seen more than once

Catch your partner doing something right, and thank them for it, specifically, on the spot.

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Growing empathy

Grounding and settling

Equanimity and perspective

Facing it a step at a time

Posture and how you carry yourself

Exercise, food and other supports

Treatment and medication

What worry does

What ADHD actually is

Cool the body first

When you use something to cope

When everything feels flat

Structure and routine

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Tolerate distress

Emotions as signals

Your sense of time

Practising under provocation

Being seen and judged

Rest and pacing

Panic and the body

What you are actually defending

Help someone grieving

Gratitude

Ask and say no well

Fondness and admiration

Touch and bodywork

Shame

Making it stick

The fear underneath anger

When you go numb

Obsessions and compulsions

Safety and grounding

Validate yourself and others

Living with uncertainty

Notice the small good things and say thanks. Appreciation given often keeps goodwill flowing.

A minuteGratitudeGottmanQur’an 2:152One line of research

Say it plainly whenever you teach anything: the way I am showing you this is not the way it has to be done. Change it until it works for you.

Anyone who has failed at the standard version of something several times will not try again unless they are told clearly that adapting it is allowed.…

A minuteGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 65:7Long taught, never tested

After you have tried something to settle, check: how here do you feel now, compared with before? Do not assume it worked just because it usually does.

This takes ten seconds and does two jobs. It tells you whether that particular thing is worth reaching for again, and it slowly trains you to notice…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 39:23Long taught, never tested

On a video call, two things still work well: touching your own face gently, and rocking. Both are yours to do, and both are visible enough to be done together.

Distance takes away most of what one person can offer another physically, so it helps to know what survives it. A hand resting on your cheek, fingers…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 2:186Long taught, never tested

Offer any movement in three sizes: small, medium and full. Let people take the one that fits today, and let them change their mind halfway through.

For a twist that might be a simple reach, or a reach with the other hand placed behind, or loose swinging arms. The three sizes do quiet work. They…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7Long taught, never tested

Start with a couple of minutes of movement before any of the difficult talking. Not a warm up for its own sake: a body that has moved is easier to think in.

Two or three minutes is enough. Roll the shoulders, round and lengthen the spine, turn gently side to side. It also says something without anyone…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 8:11Long taught, never tested

Let the breath go along with the movement rather than counting it out. If you are guiding someone, do not set the pace of their breathing for them.

Being told exactly when to breathe in and out is unpleasant for more people than you would expect, and for anyone whose breath was held tight through…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 48:4Long taught, never tested

To someone in grief, a short gentle word beats advice or fixing. Say something kind, and mean it.

You do not need to solve their loss. A soft, sincere word lands better than any counsel.

A minuteHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 2:263One line of research

With someone grieving, offer your presence more than your words. Sit with them; let silence be enough.

You do not need the right thing to say. Being there, quietly and again and again, is the help.

Five minutesHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 90:17One line of research

If the word mindfulness makes you wince, leave the word out. Paying attention to your breath, or to the sounds in the room, is the whole of it.

A lot of people turn the practice down before trying it, because the label sounds like it belongs to somebody else's religion or somebody else's sort…

A minuteMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 29:69One line of research

Tune to what your spouse is feeling under their words today, and name it gently.

It sounds like that scared you. Responsiveness is meeting the feeling, not just the fact.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159Seen more than once

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5One line of research

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21Seen more than once

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21Seen more than once

Do not win in a way that crushes your partner's dream. Aim for a marriage where you support each other's dreams.

Being right is worthless if it flattens the person you love. Look for how both dreams can be honored.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:187One line of research

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21One line of research