Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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296 practices

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Within this class the choice is mostly about how long the drug lasts rather than how well it works. They all pull on the same receptor, so the real question is what pattern of cover the person in front of you needs.

A short-acting one taken as panic arrives gives sharp relief and teaches the person to keep it in a pocket. A longer-acting one gives smoother cover…

Five minutesPanic and the bodyMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:255One line of research

Keeping your eyes open holds you in the room while you feel what is going on inside. One channel on where you actually are, one on yourself.

Closed eyes are the default in most classes and they are not always kind. When a lot is stirring, letting the eyes stay soft but open, so the light…

Five minutesPosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 15:98One line of research

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:34One line of research

Name the specific moment your partner was not there when you needed them most, and how deeply it wounded you.

Some wounds are attachment injuries: a betrayal or abandonment at a crucial moment of need that redefines the relationship as unsafe. Healing begins…

Five minutesRebuilding trustEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:86One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

When everything feels flat

Feelings and focus

Equanimity and perspective

Emotions as signals

Choosing your response

The moment before you snap

When you use something to cope

Structure and routine

Touch and bodywork

Food, caffeine and fuel

Growing empathy

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Rituals of connection

Shared spiritual life

Tolerate distress

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Grounding and settling

Get started

Panic and the body

Treatment and medication

Being seen and judged

Help someone grieving

Feeling from the inside

Breathing

Ask and say no well

What you are actually defending

The fear underneath anger

Living with uncertainty

Affection and touch

Rest and pacing

Repair after rupture

Practising under provocation

Posture and how you carry yourself

Obsessions and compulsions

If you caused the injury, acknowledge your partner's pain, own your part, and stay present with them; do not defend or flee.

The one who caused the wound helps most by receiving the pain, taking responsibility, and expressing genuine regret while staying emotionally…

Five minutesRebuilding trustEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:135One line of research

The partner who broke trust answers questions with complete transparency and hides nothing going forward.

Rebuilding trust means an open life: whereabouts, contacts, the truth, offered freely rather than pried out.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 9:119One line of research

The one who caused the hurt listens to the pain non-defensively, without excuses, as long as it is needed.

Do not rush the hurt partner or defend yourself. Bear their anger and grief with patience; it is part of repair.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 42:43One line of research

Do not try to restore the old marriage. Build a new one, on honesty, transparency, and witnessing each other's truths.

The relationship before cannot be recovered as it was. Aim instead for a second marriage, to the same person, on firmer ground.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 30:21One line of research

Aim for real forgiveness that comes with repair, not a cheap forgiveness that papers over the wound to keep the peace.

Forgiving too fast, before atonement and change, buries the injury alive. True forgiveness follows real repair.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 24:22One line of research

Let one trustworthy person in slowly. Trust is rebuilt in small, safe steps, not all at once.

You do not owe everyone access, and you do not have to stay walled off forever. One safe person, by degrees.

Five minutesRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 3:159One line of research

When a past hurt overwhelms you, reach toward a safe person instead of cutting yourself off. Connection is part of healing, not a distraction from it.

Trauma pulls you to withdraw, but isolation is exactly what deepens it. Letting even one trusted person stay close, when everything in you wants to…

Five minutesRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 3:103One line of research

You can mean something completely, drive most of the way there with it in your head, and still turn left instead of right. Meaning it and doing it are two separate events, and only one of them is visible to anyone else.

To a partner, the missed errand looks like a verdict on where they come in your order of things. It helps to say out loud, at a calm moment rather…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 12:42One line of research

Saying it is done when it is not is a common next step, and it makes more sense than it looks. The lie is rarely about the parcel, it is a way out of the look on somebody's face.

It also makes everything worse, because being found out turns a forgotten task into a trust problem, and that is a much longer repair. If this is…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 2:283One line of research

Somebody should ask the boring question: is there a list at all, anywhere? It gets skipped for being too obvious to ask, which is how a person can go years with nothing.

The format does not matter: Outlook, a notes app, the back of an envelope kept in one place. What matters is that intentions live somewhere outside…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 12:47One line of research

If you are going to ask someone to remind you, tie it to something they want as well. Reminding you to book the car in is much easier when it is also their car.

Asked as a favour it becomes a job they never applied for, and resentment collects quietly on both sides. Asked as a shared arrangement it lasts. Be…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 51:55One line of research

You will still forget things. What decides how much damage a missed task does is usually the ten minutes after you notice, not the miss itself.

Two moves reliably make it worse: sinking into shame until you cannot look at the person, and defending yourself as though nothing had been dropped.…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:24One line of research

The standard was never that you drop nothing. It is that the effort is steady and visible, and the misses that remain get some grace.

This matters as much for the person waiting on you as it does for you. Perfection gives them nothing to notice and gives you nothing to reach, so…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 2:286One line of research

Name what set you off, then tell the older story behind why it is a trigger for you.

Rewind to an earlier time you felt the same. Sharing that story helps your partner know you.

Five minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 49:13One line of research

When you are already behind, rest feels like the one thing you cannot afford. That feeling is usually what keeps you behind.

Running from one near disaster to the next burns exactly the abilities you need in order to dig out: planning, holding a thought long enough to use…

Five minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 4:28One line of research

That flash of temper when someone meets a fact that undoes their story is not stupidity. It is a mind defending its own shape, which is a real need rather than a shameful one.

Say this to yourself before you say anything to them, because contempt carries in the voice even when it stays out of the words. Being wrong and not…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:286One line of research