Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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625 practices

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When you start paying attention to your body, things wake up. More feeling, a deeper breath, memories arriving sideways. That is the practice working, not the practice going wrong.

Say this at the start, not afterwards. People who were not told tend to decide the movement made them worse and stop, when what actually happened is…

A minutePosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 17:109One line of research

Keeping your eyes open holds you in the room while you feel what is going on inside. One channel on where you actually are, one on yourself.

Closed eyes are the default in most classes and they are not always kind. When a lot is stirring, letting the eyes stay soft but open, so the light…

Five minutesPosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 15:98One line of research

Play belongs here. Being a lion, a tree, a hissing snake, the way children do it with no embarrassment at all.

A lot of people meet trauma work as something solemn, and solemn is easy to sit through without ever softening. Silliness is harder to fake. If a…

Twenty minutesPosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 22:27One line of research

Going silent and hard is not a neutral act. A fixed stare and a set brow land on the other person's body as threat, even though you have not said a word.

People often think they are being restrained when they go cold, and are then surprised by how frightened or defensive the other person becomes. If…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 25:63One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Structure and routine

The moment before you snap

What worry does

Grounding and settling

Bringing the future closer

When everything feels flat

Equanimity and perspective

Breathing

Treatment and medication

Choosing your response

Remembering to do it

Reading, numbers and learning differences

When you use something to cope

Shame and stigma

Posture and how you carry yourself

Practising under provocation

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Being seen and judged

Obsessions and compulsions

The fear underneath anger

Shame

Rest and pacing

Help someone grieving

Gratitude

Fondness and admiration

Feeling from the inside

Ask and say no well

What you are actually defending

Living with uncertainty

Validate yourself and others

When you go numb

Safety and grounding

Before anyone does something exposing, let them check their own conditions and give them a clean way to say no. A public yes given under pressure is not really a yes.

It can be as ordinary as asking someone to consider whether they have the privacy, the time and the state of mind for this today. Ask it first and…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 2:45One line of research

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:34One line of research

Offer genuine remorse, not a rushed sorry. Sincere turning back is where the return begins.

Remorse that is felt and shown, not performed to end the discomfort, is the seed of rebuilt trust.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 66:8One line of research

Do not rush to analyze why it happened. That comes much later, and never as a way to shift blame.

Digging into causes too early invites excuses and self-blame. First transparency and remorse, then, in time, understanding.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 17:36One line of research

Rebuild the small rituals of connection that eroded: predictable, reliable moments you can both count on.

Betrayal usually follows the quiet loss of daily connection. Restore steady rituals you can rely on to reconnect.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 70:23One line of research

Name the specific moment your partner was not there when you needed them most, and how deeply it wounded you.

Some wounds are attachment injuries: a betrayal or abandonment at a crucial moment of need that redefines the relationship as unsafe. Healing begins…

Five minutesRebuilding trustEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:86One line of research

If you caused the injury, acknowledge your partner's pain, own your part, and stay present with them; do not defend or flee.

The one who caused the wound helps most by receiving the pain, taking responsibility, and expressing genuine regret while staying emotionally…

Five minutesRebuilding trustEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:135One line of research

The partner who broke trust answers questions with complete transparency and hides nothing going forward.

Rebuilding trust means an open life: whereabouts, contacts, the truth, offered freely rather than pried out.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 9:119One line of research

The one who caused the hurt listens to the pain non-defensively, without excuses, as long as it is needed.

Do not rush the hurt partner or defend yourself. Bear their anger and grief with patience; it is part of repair.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 42:43One line of research

Do not try to restore the old marriage. Build a new one, on honesty, transparency, and witnessing each other's truths.

The relationship before cannot be recovered as it was. Aim instead for a second marriage, to the same person, on firmer ground.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 30:21One line of research

Aim for real forgiveness that comes with repair, not a cheap forgiveness that papers over the wound to keep the peace.

Forgiving too fast, before atonement and change, buries the injury alive. True forgiveness follows real repair.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 24:22One line of research

Let one trustworthy person in slowly. Trust is rebuilt in small, safe steps, not all at once.

You do not owe everyone access, and you do not have to stay walled off forever. One safe person, by degrees.

Five minutesRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 3:159One line of research

When a past hurt overwhelms you, reach toward a safe person instead of cutting yourself off. Connection is part of healing, not a distraction from it.

Trauma pulls you to withdraw, but isolation is exactly what deepens it. Letting even one trusted person stay close, when everything in you wants to…

Five minutesRebuild trustTrauma informedQur’an 3:103One line of research

After a betrayal, heal by talking the injury through together, fully, rather than skipping past it in silence.

Couples who avoid the subject drift apart; those who talk it through, honestly and thoroughly, are the ones who make it.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:42One line of research

Atonement is not only apology; it is changed behavior over time. Let your actions become the apology.

Words open the door; sustained new behavior walks through it. Trust returns through consistency, not speeches.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:70One line of research

Let the hurt partner set the pace of healing. It takes as long as it takes; there is no rushing trust back.

You cannot demand that trust return on a schedule. Honor the injured partner's timeline without pressure.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:286One line of research