Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

What matches

625 practices

Narrow these down

When something in the room or in the wider world unsettles you, saying so as your own unease usually travels further than handing down a verdict.

A verdict invites a counter verdict, and then the two of you are in a match. Naming what you notice in yourself gives the other person somewhere to…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:143One line of research

Someone who holds themselves to an exact standard will often hear a gentle correction as an attack. With them the useful thing is timing: build some trust before you offer the other way of seeing it.

The reframe you have ready is probably right and probably too early. Consistency matters enormously to this person, so an alternative view is not…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 16:125One line of research

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62One line of research

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 24:61Seen more than once

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minute

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Structure and routine

The moment before you snap

What worry does

Grounding and settling

Bringing the future closer

When everything feels flat

Equanimity and perspective

Breathing

Treatment and medication

Choosing your response

Remembering to do it

Reading, numbers and learning differences

When you use something to cope

Shame and stigma

Posture and how you carry yourself

Practising under provocation

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Being seen and judged

Obsessions and compulsions

The fear underneath anger

Shame

Rest and pacing

Help someone grieving

Gratitude

Fondness and admiration

Feeling from the inside

Ask and say no well

What you are actually defending

Living with uncertainty

Validate yourself and others

When you go numb

Safety and grounding

Rituals of connection

Core

Qur’an 17:34

One line of research

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86One line of research

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:19One line of research

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62One line of research

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21One line of research

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21One line of research

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7One line of research

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19One line of research

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74One line of research

When fear rises, being near a calm, safe person, or turning to God's remembrance, helps your body borrow that steadiness.

Our nervous systems settle in the presence of safety. A calm, attuned other, or a steadying practice of remembrance, sends the body cues of safety…

A minuteSafety and groundingTrauma informedQur’an 13:28Long taught, never tested

One gentle way to name it: those are being used as words to play with, and they were never really words for playing with. Said kindly, it lands without anyone being told off.

The young person in front of you almost certainly says it too, so any version that sounds like a reprimand will close the conversation down. Naming…

A minuteScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 25:72One line of research

If the screen limit in your house is only your preference, every evening turns into a negotiation about your preference. Borrowing a published figure, roughly two hours a day of leisure screen time for a child over two, moves the argument off you.

The carve-outs matter as much as the number. A video call with a grandparent is a conversation, and a laptop open for homework is schoolwork, so…

Five minutesScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 7:31One line of research

For a child who finds face to face conversation frightening, a game where they talk to friends while doing something else may be the only place they socialise at all. Worth noticing before you count the hours.

Talking through a headset takes out most of what makes conversation hard: no eye contact to hold, no faces to read in real time, no silence to fill.…

Five minutesScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 47:36One line of research

It is a genuine relief to hear that what someone did online may not reflect who they are. Say that gently, and say the other half in the same breath: the people who saw it will judge it as though it does.

Both halves are true and they need each other. Offer only the first and you have handed over a reason for nothing to change. Offer only the second…

Five minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 17:36One line of research

More hours on social media goes with more anxiety and low mood. That is a reason to aim at fewer hours, a conversation you can actually have, rather than at none, which usually ends the conversation.

Pick a number genuinely below the current one and low enough to notice, then look at what has changed in a fortnight. Sleep and mood are the things…

Five minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 25:67One line of research

Some of what circulates makes being unwell look good. Drugs filmed like a party, low mood styled into something delicate and photogenic, until the illness starts to feel like a personality.

This is worth spotting because of what it does to recovery. If sadness has become part of how someone is known, getting better means losing something…

Five minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 18:28One line of research